In the last few weeks I have talked to a number of people who are fed up – some are fed up with their job, others with certain people in their life, or with their lifestyle. Maybe it’s the New Year that is making us re-evaluate where we are and what we want to change in our life, but the fact remains that many of us are tired of the way some things are in our life.
Unfortunately, it’s easy for us to get stuck. We may complain about our situation, and then immediately cut off even considering the possibility of any solutions by focusing on the big obstacle in the way. “I hate my job, but I can’t quit, because I need the money.” “I don’t like the way my partner treats me, but I can’t get divorced.” “I am tired of feeling out of shape, but I hate going to the gym.”
How do you get unstuck? Stop focusing on the obstacles that are in the way of getting out of your situation, and try these 3 simple steps instead:
- Think about what you are fed up with. What is it you don’t like about the situation?
(Maybe you don’t like being micromanaged by your boss, or you don’t like being criticized by your parents, or you are tired of being out of shape.)
- What is it that you do want?
(Maybe you want to have more freedom, or you want to be respected or you want to feel energized.)
- How can you give yourself what you want, right now, somewhere in your life?
(Maybe you can give yourself the freedom to choose activities you like on the weekend, or you can respect yourself by spending more time with friends who respect you, or you can find some healthy recipes you love.)
Then go ahead and give yourself what you want!
“But how does this solve my underlying problem?” you may ask. It may not solve the situation we are fed up with immediately. However, the biggest thing that actually gets in our way is our pattern of getting stuck and feeling trapped. This 3 step practice builds the habit of being proactive and taking self- responsibility in our life instead. If we continue to practice this new habit, it will break our pattern of remaining passive and we will take more and more actions that will eventually get us out of the situation that we are stuck with.
Don’t just take my word for it – try it for a few weeks! And let me know what changes you notice!
Manuela loves helping professional women bring more balance, happiness and success into their lives through Professional Life Coaching!