I used to believe that success looked a specific way: Living in a big beautiful house in a great neighborhood in the hills, working as a VP or higher level in a corporation, having enough money to spend on whatever I want. And I worked hard to achieve that picture. But over the years, I realized that pursuing this picture of success didn’t make me happy and achieving some of the milestones along the way didn’t bring me the satisfaction I expected.
So I had to re-evaluate my belief. Just because others defined success that way, didn’t mean that I had to define it the same way. I realized that if I wanted to be happy, I had to redefine what success meant to ME and not to anybody else.
Do you have some beliefs that you learned from your family, were taught in school, or adopted from society that make you unhappy? They could be about the way you “should” look or act, or about your career, your home, or your relationships.
Author Miguel Ruiz calls these beliefs we adopted “Agreements” and suggests we list out all the agreements we have been programmed to believe and ask ourselves the following questions:
– Which of these agreements lift me up and give me joy?
– Which of these agreements bring me down?
– Which of these agreements are based on truth?
– Which of these agreements are lies?
If you find an agreement that is limiting, fear-based or makes you unhappy, write a new agreement based on compassion and self-love. Then practice that new agreement, until it becomes a habit.
I have created many new agreements over the years, but one of the most powerful agreements I have rewritten is my definition of success:
1. Be authentic, stay true to my values, and don’t pretend to be someone I am not. 2. Pursue a purpose that is meaningful to me. Right now my purpose is to help people love themselves and lead happier lives so they can share their love and happiness with others. 3. Use my strengths to make a positive impact on people’s lives and be kind to others. 4. Enjoy quality time with my friends and people who I care about, talking, laughing, sharing and supporting one another. 5. Be comfortable financially: Live within my means, be in a comfortable living environment and be able to travel. 6. Be present in the moment and feel balanced. 7. Continue to learn and grow.
What agreement is limiting you right now and how do you want to rewrite it?