Sometimes things happen in our lives that we find hard to accept. We might be informed that we are getting laid off, find out about a health issue, discover that someone betrayed us or that someone we care about got into an accident.
Our first reaction is usually: “No!” “That can’t be!” “I can’t believe it!” It’s denial. Resistance. We don’t want to accept that the terrible news we have received is true.
But as long as we are refusing to accept reality, we are not able to deal with the situation and move forward. We remain stuck. Sometimes for weeks or even years. And we continue to suffer – remaining afraid, scared, confused, sad, and distracted.
I recently had a health scare and couldn’t sleep that night, going through exactly those thoughts. I didn’t want this to be real. I just wanted it to go away. I was afraid and worried.
I knew that as long as I kept resisting, I wouldn’t be able to get any peace or sleep. And I remembered 2 great questions I learned years ago from teacher and author Raphael Cushnir and decided to apply them.
The 2 questions are:
- What is happening right now?
- Can I be with it?
When asking “What is happening right now?”, pay attention to any sensations in your body and any emotions you are feeling. I was feeling scared, worried, and agitated.
When asking “Can I be with it?”, you are asking if you can embrace it. Can I embrace being afraid? Yes. Can I embrace being worried? Yes. Can I embrace being agitated? Yes. Imagine embracing all those emotions you are feeling.
You might have to go through those 2 questions multiple times, until you feel that you can truly embrace all those feelings you are trying to resist. It’s strange – as long as we resist an emotion, for example fear, it will continue to have a hold on us. But by embracing fear, we actually feel less afraid. Once I went through the questions multiple times and really embrace my fears, I was finally able to go to sleep. And luckily, the health scare turned out to be nothing serious.
These 2 questions can also help in simpler situations, when you are stuck in traffic, dealing with a crying baby, or waiting in a long line. All it takes is some practice. For more details about the 2 questions, read: Two Questions that Can Change Your Life
What have you been resisting? Are you ready to move through your resistance and let go of it?